SAKIN!

 

GAZA IS WET AND MUDDY

A headline flashed across the screen: “Gaza is wet and muddy.”
In the background, children lay on mattresses placed over the sludge, trying to sleep — whether from cold or fear, it was hard to tell. They were huddled close together, seeking warmth. The next image showed someone walking barefoot through the water. They waded shivering through the brown, muddy flood, clearly on their way to find food.

Ayşen didn’t even notice the news. She was usually sensitive to such things, but it was a hectic and busy day. No one in the house was really watching the television anyway. The children had probably turned it on while waiting for the school bus that morning. In the rush of work, it hadn’t even crossed her mind to switch it off.

Her rush was due to the deep cleaning she had been doing at home for days. Before winter arrived, she had launched into an intense, corner-to-corner cleaning spree, tackling everything. Drawers, bed bases, closets — she had not only cleaned but also decluttered. The things in good condition she had given to those in need; anything that would no longer be used, she had gotten rid of entirely. Although exhausting, this cleaning and simplifying had actually felt good. Today, on the third day of this effort, the task continued with freshly washed carpets. On this lingering warm day left over from summer, it was the carpets that were enjoying the terrace, laid out in vibrant floral patterns as if in defiance of the faded flowers nearby. Wool blankets and duvets had joined them.

Ayşen and her family had moved to Istanbul long ago. The cold here was nothing like the biting cold of their hometown; it was a milder climate. Even so, Ayşen could never part with her wool duvets. Later, doctors had even begun to say they were healthier, which gave her the motivation to keep using them despite the difficulty of storing them.

One thing that relieved her that day was not having to worry about cooking dinner. Her closest friend, Seda, had invited them for the evening meal. They had met years ago at a parent-teacher meeting, and over time, their husbands and children had also become good friends. That day, the kids would go straight to Seda’s house after school. True friendship was something that lightened one’s burdens. This invitation had been just the lift she needed in the middle of all the busyness and fatigue.

Ayşen rushed back and forth, trying to be ready in time for dinner. Just as she had finished her work and was dreaming of a cup of tea, her husband arrived. With the relief of finishing the cleaning, she got into the car, telling herself, “I’ll have my tea there instead.” They had driven quite a way when the weather turned. The sky, which had been clear all morning, now gathered dark clouds, and heavy rain began to pour. Ayşen was caught off guard — she had been so absorbed in her chores that she hadn’t noticed the signs of rain. Even if they considered turning back home, it was too late now. Her husband reassured her: “Maybe it hasn’t rained where we live — don’t worry so much.”

But Ayşen could already picture the carpets and duvets soaked through. She suddenly felt like crying. The joy and relief she had felt vanished, and her face fell. As soon as her friend opened the door, she sensed Ayşen’s gloom. Hugging her, she discreetly asked:

— “Sweetheart, are you okay? Nothing bad happened, right? Did you have an argument with Ali?”

— “No, no, we didn’t argue. I’m just upset all my effort went to waste.”

She quickly explained the situation. Her friend said, “That’s what you’re upset about? Tomorrow, once the kids are at school, I’ll come over and we’ll sort it out together.” Her friend’s support eased her heart. She was grateful to have such a friend — and she, too, would never withhold her own support when her friend needed it.

After dinner, the dessert with tea lifted her mood further. While they sipped tea, the conversation turned to Tahir’s trip to Egypt. His visit hadn’t been for tourism — he volunteered for an aid organization and had gone to help deliver assistance to our brothers and sisters in Gaza via the Rafah Crossing. Out of sensitivity for the topic, Tahir tried to recount what he had seen as gently as possible, pausing often and swallowing hard. It was obvious he didn’t want to go into too much detail.

— “The whole country has been destroyed, turned into piles of rubble. The chaos caused by the wreckage is almost as harsh on the people as the war itself. And now, the harsh conditions of the approaching winter have been added to this. Already facing food and shelter shortages, people are now at risk of freezing to death. The poor and unsanitary conditions in the camps offer no means to survive the winter. Makeshift tents cannot withstand the cold and heavy rains. On top of the devastating and traumatic losses they’ve already endured, the people now face this exhausting struggle.”

He didn’t even mention the tiny orphans wandering the streets, or the people dying from hunger and the lack of medicine… But what Ayşen heard was enough. Her gaze fixed on the teacup in her hand, she couldn’t lift her head out of shame. She was afraid to squeeze the slender glass any tighter in case it broke. What was she doing? While people’s tents were flooding with mud, she had been distressed over her wool duvets and carpets getting wet in the rain — and she had water to wash them again as many times as she liked. Meanwhile, their homes, sewage systems, and infrastructure were in ruins. Forget washing a duvet — even going to the toilet must have been torture.

Surviving under such conditions was a true victory. And yet, in all the videos she had seen, she had never once heard a complaint. The footage from the region was full of determination and smiles. They carried water in bags tied together because they couldn’t find containers. They had made sewing machines from bicycle wheels, bread ovens out of mud. One woman had even cleaned her half-collapsed, roofless home and baked a cake there. It was hard to believe, but despite everything, they were managing to be happy. Even after losing their loved ones, their homes, their daily routines, they smiled. They had more than enough reason to complain — and their complaints would have been entirely justified — yet they clung to gratitude instead. The harder life became, the more they gave thanks, and they never lost their smiles.

Now Ayşen felt deeply ashamed of the problem she had wanted to sit and cry over. She had sulked the whole way to her friend’s house. People in Gaza were losing their children, their families, their homes filled with memories — and still, they could smile. How was she standing in comparison to their smiling strength? The fact that her motivation had dropped so quickly, over something so trivial, truly saddened her.

The Experiential Design Teaching says: When a person does not dwell on their real problem, they adopt false problems instead.

Everyone has problems — for some, in the family; for others, at work. In addition to life’s burdens, there are also problems we choose for ourselves. Sometimes, the more we dwell on these, the larger they grow in our minds. And while we are busy enlarging them, the real problem becomes invisible. The very problem that, if faced, might make us stronger, more resilient, happier, and more successful, is the one we move away from.

If people knew that by turning away from the real, they were also turning away from their own happiness… Would they still choose the false as their “problem”? Like a hamster in a cage, running but going nowhere — always staying in place — even having those problems return to them bigger than before. And all this despite the fatigue, the effort, the sleepless nights, the dreary mornings.

If they knew that the problem they don’t want to face could actually be good for them… That even if their head aches, they will stumble up the steep hill ahead, and though it may hurt, that hill will later become beautiful, even enjoyable… Would they waste time with the false? Or would they turn to the real?

Ayşen, bitter as the realization was, remembered this truth. She was ashamed of her reaction, but she also learned from it. After all, what had really happened? Was this situation truly so important? Would a bit of rain on her duvets plunge her into despair? What, in fact, had she not wanted to see? Which real problem had she missed? Now it was time to reevaluate the priorities in her life.

May we all be able to look again at the places our eyes have passed over without truly seeing.

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Experiential Design Teaching is the knowledge of reality that enables people to design their future through past experiences. It offers individuals strategies they need in order to solve their problems and achieve their goals.

"Who is Who", "Relationship Mastery", "Psychology of Success" programs provide individuals the methods to being happy and successful.

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"Out of billions of people, what importance can "one" person have?

To know the answer ask that "one" person!"

 Yahya Hamurcu