BALANCE
The sun was setting, there was
a refreshing breeze… Esma was in front of the window gazing outside, trying to
catch a sight from her kids. At this very monent the kids playing on the seesaw
cought her attention. One was very thin while the other bulky. Emre being the
thin one could never seem to hoist up Hayri. Esma was appreciative of his
struggles but they need balance she thought. “Never mind, I should get back
to work” she thought and went back to her to do list. It was time for her
dear usband to arrive home. Any moment kids would come and knock on the door
demanding food. Not long after her son Emir came home. He was wet as a dog and
with every dirt he could gather from outside he sat on the white sofa. He did
not like to shower. He taught he could slip away from her mother’s eye while
she was busy. But her mother entered the living room.
-When did you came?
Won’t you say hello?
-Hi mom we were
playing soccer with the kids from the the other blog. I scored a goal and I am
starving.
- You've obviously put a lot
of effort and sweat into it, but nothing is done without effort right?” she
said and winked.
Emir smiled. Then she pointed to the bathroom gesturing him
take a bath. Emir's shoulders slumped and he went to the bathroom complaining “But
I'm tired, I don't want to, I don't like showering at all!”
Does the cleaning
ever end?
Esma was a woman who was obsessive
about cleanliness. Whatever she did, she tried to do it properly. While she was
so obsessed about cleaning, her children were just as sloppy. Esma had cleaning
routines. Every day the house was wiped, swept, dusted, the toilet and bathroom
was cleaned. The windows and carpets were wiped once a week. Towels were
changed daily, and she did not wait until the laundry basket was full to do the
laundry. She was not someone who could easily receive guests in her house.
Because most of the time the state of her house did not reach the cleaning standards
she wanted. No matter how hard she tried, she thought her house was not clean
enough.
Her mother Mrs. Hatice could
not spare Esma. “You are destroying yourself. Too much of everything is
harmful. You are doing all you can do, my daughter, the work of the house will
not end!” she would say. But Esma's mother-in-law, husband and relatives
were also very meticulous. She did not want to be criticized for her lack of
cleanliness. She cared a lot about what people thought. Cleaning became her
daily concern and she could not spare time for the things she really needed. Nevertheless,
there would be a time when one would find a dirty spot at her clean house. Once
in a blue moon her house would get messy and guests would choose that time to
come unannounced. Or something would come out of the food she had prepared, and
she would be humiliated on such occasions.
While she had no difficulty in
many things, she could not teach her children about cleanliness and its
importance. Her sister Elif said to him one day, “I am not as meticulous as
you, but why are your children so sloppy compared to mine!” Indeed they
were, in fact she knew the answer. Esma lacked consistency. She warned
her children so much that they didn't want to act on it anymore, they
were tired of hearing the same sentences.
The
Experiential Design Teaching says, “Everything inexcess is harmful.”
Esma
was so fond of cleaning, but she neglected many other things. In fact, there
was not much she did other than cleaning. She hadn't read a book or taken a
walk in a long time and had little time left for sleep. Even if cleaning was
beneficial, it was now harming Esma.
She
couldn't understand what she and her close and distant surroundings needed.
Because she had made the order and cleanliness of her home the center of her
life. She also did not fry anything or even made pop corn in her kitchen. She
would not bring food to the living room because “It would make a mess.”
Sometimes her husband and children would want to eat something while watching
TV, but they would give up because of Esma's attitude. She did not want to
invite guests because “My house would be ruined”
Life
demands balance from people.
To
solve her dilemma, she took a pen and paper in her hand and started to think
and write about what was happening. While writing, she thought about her
behavior. She realized hier mistakes and then thought about how to solve them.
Actually, it was not that difficult. Because there was a method to everything
in this life and life demanded balance. So, where were the areas where people
were out of balance? She thought long and hard, there were many options and the
list was long... where to start… Cleaning, children, money, cars, stuff,
sometimes talking too much. She would first find the things that were out of
balance and then solve them step by step. Why do we have these problems in our
lives? Of course, these problems were neccessary to improve ourselves. As we
solve them we earn the right to solve the next problem.
She
thought about why she was doing what she was doing and intended to improve
herself in those areas, to act according to the truth and not according to what
others think. Wishing to achieve balance and consistency, she watched the
sunrise with purposeful goals on her mind and made a decision.
Everything
would be better than yesterday, she believed...
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Experiential Design Teaching is a science of reality that shapes the future with past experiences. It teaches the methods that individuals need to solve their problems and reach their goals.
It offers strategies to people who want to be happy and successful with the programs "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationship" and "Success Psychology".
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“What can "one" person matter among billions of people?
Ask that “one” person for the answer!”
Yahya Hamurcu