SAKIN!

 

RAG DOLL

When Nazan looked into his eyes, she felt a flutter in her heart. She was so excited that it seemed like her heart might leap out of her chest. With her long, jet-black hair, olive-shaped eyes, and porcelain skin, she resembled a doll. Wherever she went, people spoke of her beauty. Mert, on the other hand, was a tall, charismatic, and fun-loving young man. He was well-liked by his friends and the life of every gathering. Mert had the ability to charm girls with his extraordinary skills. He was accustomed to being popular.

However, things didn’t go as expected this time; he didn’t receive the attention he was used to. The more Nazan rejected him, the more he pursued her, chasing her for months. Eventually, he convinced her to meet. Not even three months had passed when he made a grand marriage proposal. Nazan gladly accepted. Honestly, she was very happy with the attention she was receiving. She shared every moment on social media— the proposal, the ring, the engagement ceremony, the wedding preparations... Everyone around them knew all the details. After farewell parties for single life, they had a lavish wedding. Everything had to be perfect. They justified themselves with the cliché, "After all, you only get married once." Their new home was nearly perfect. With the support of their families, every detail, from furniture to accessories, was arranged.

But all of this was only until the real life began to confront them. The game of pretend had ended, and the true responsibilities of marriage had begun. The rent, utilities, grocery shopping, and the cost of hosting guests replaced the carefree days of bachelorhood. Coming home tired from work and still needing to cook and clean was truly difficult. The well-groomed, happy people posting various selfies on social media were nowhere to be found anymore.

To make matters worse, a few months later, Nazan became pregnant. Due to complications with the pregnancy, she had to quit her job. Just when she needed more attention, Mert had been promoted, and his workload had increased. From the very beginning, Nazan wanted more attention than she was getting. However, Mert just wanted to unwind with his friends after work. He preferred to go fishing on weekends or watch a game with his buddies. Nazan became resentful of Mert’s friends.

These complaints only pushed Mert further away. The more unhappy Nazan became, and the higher her expectations from Mert grew, the more he distanced himself. Nazan felt like a discarded rag doll, played with and tossed aside.

It seemed like they had lost their excitement. "Marriage kills love," they say, and perhaps it was true! Not long after, the arguments began, and disputes became frequent. How could a relationship that started on cloud nine crash to the ground once they were married? For a while, they continued to post fake happy pictures, keeping up the "We’re so happy" image. However, eight months later, a huge fight broke out. Nazan left the house, and they made the decision to divorce.

Had they truly built a home, only to now decide to separate? Or had they never really been a family at all?

It seems that marriages in the past lasted much longer. So why do homes that people build with so much effort fall apart? Why do marriages sometimes feel like children’s games? You know, when kids play and one of them says, "I’m not playing anymore, I’m mad!" Today, ending a marriage has become almost too easy. Fragile relationships fall apart over trivial reasons. Why do relationships that start with such enthusiasm end up in the corridors of a courthouse? Why is that?

The Experiential Design Teaching says: "What matters in a relationship is balance."

Wrong responses push people away from balance. As long as wrong behaviors continue, relationships will reach their breaking point. To truly form a family, there must be common goals, expectations, and responsibilities. At the heart of this is the fulfillment of needs in a real relationship. How can anyone be happy or build a home in a relationship where each person only focuses on their own wants and needs, saying, "You are you, and I am me"?

Before we allow someone to turn our lives into a rag doll, we need to learn the strategies to make the right choices.

Perhaps that’s the way to reach "the good."

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Experiential Design Teaching is the knowledge of reality that enables people to design their future through past experiences. It offers individuals strategies they need in order to solve their problems and achieve their goals.

"Who is Who", "Relationship Mastery", "Psychology of Success" programs provide individuals the methods to being happy and successful.

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"Out of billions of people, what importance can "one" person have?

To know the answer ask that "one" person!"

 Yahya Hamurcu