SAKIN!

 

I Screwed Up Again!

On the day of the exam, Seçil stayed up all night again. She had spent a whole week like this. This was the requirement of midterm and final weeks for her. Sleepless nights, studying until the morning, tired eyes and eyelids that resisted to close... She was not a student who left her work to the last minute. She used to go to her classes on time and regularly, listen carefully to her teachers and take her notes. She would not postpone reading these notes until the exam week, she would study regularly. Despite this, midterm and final weeks were so busy. She could not understand why it was like this.

Exam weeks were not only a time period of sleeplessness. During these weeks, she lost her appetite and could not eat. She would also neglect herself and completely abandon self-care. When she made a mistake, she would get very angry and startjudging herself. But her anger was not specific to this week. It also expressed in her behavior towards herself in other scenes of her life. If she accidentally dropped something, ‘You are clumsy.’ If she forgot something that needed to be delivered, ‘How could you forget?’ her mind was full of judgmental and angry sentences. But in these weeks, the number of those sentences increased. As the number of sentences increased, another restlessness covered her.  

If Seçil had known, she would have been able to make sense of this restlessness. If she knew, trying to escape from the mistake was causing her to feel like this. That thing she was trying to escape was tiring her like this. And as she tired, the mistakes were growing in her eyes. Even if they were actually tiny...

So why was Seçil running away from these mistakes? Why was she afraid of mistakes? However, those who made mistakes and learnt from them were the ones who improved themselves. If she had known this fact, how much mistakes had improved him, would she have run away from them?

Every person has mistakes. The reaction to these mistakes varies from person to person. For some, these mistakes become a stepping stone of development. These are the ones who learn from what happened. And they are the ones who use this lesson in shaping the future. These people think about what and why they live. They analyze the events and approach them by establishing a cause-and-effect relationship. They find out why they made that mistake and take measures not to make it again. This whole process also changes one's perspective. Learning from events contributes to development. In this way, the mistake brings the skill of making fewer mistakes.  In fact, wasn't this what Seçil heard from the people she listened to? In all the success stories she listened to, no matter who came out, she did not say, ‘My not making any mistakes helped me get to this position.’ These successful people were usually talking about their mistakes and the lessons they learnt, and they were using them as an opportunity for development.

A person develops as she learns from her mistakes. It is not only one's own mistakes that improve people. Experience can also be learnt from the mistakes of others. They take precautions and make the right moves before making that mistake.

For some, mistakes are not opportunities for development but events to be avoided. As it intimidates Seçil, it also intimidates most of us. And people mostly want to do whatever they do without mistakes and completely.

The Experiential Design Teaching says: "The problem is not making mistakes. The real problem is trying to be flawless."

Human being is a creature that makes mistakes due to its nature. The purpose of this life stage is to reduce and minimize these mistakes. No matter how perfect a person wants to be, this is not possible. Wanting what is not possible makes everyone restless like Seçil. Since she focuses on the best, she cannot see the best. Since her goal is always unattainable, she gets tired and tired. Every movement is like a dog chasing its own tail. She runs and runs and runs, but she cannot reach her goal.

So, if being perfect is such an unattainable goal, what should one aim for?

Although it is not possible to be perfect, it is possible to do whatever we do well.  One's goal should not be to be perfect, but to be good. To do well and be one of the good ones... To be one of those who do what they do best...

This is where things change. A person does not hinder her behavior for fear of not being able to do it. She does not criticize herself mercilessly every time she cannot do it. She starts to be much more compassionate first to herself and then to others. She forgives and is compassionate. She learns from her mistakes and focuses on being one of the good ones. Then no-one can take her back that way. Not even herself...

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Experiential Design Teaching is the knowledge of reality that enables people to design their future through past experiences. It offers individuals strategies they need in order to solve their problems and achieve their goals.

"Who is Who", "Relationship Mastery", "Psychology of Success" programs provide individuals the methods to being happy and successful.

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"Out of billions of people, what importance can "one" person have?

To know the answer ask that "one" person!"

 Yahya Hamurcu